Calme et chocolat

Aujourd’hui j’ai réaliser qu’en 1 mois il y avait eu pas mal de changement dans ma vie. Entre ma nouvelle job, mon nouvel appart et une nouvelle relation ça fait pas mal. Et au bout du compte mes nerfs s’en ressentent.

Je pense qu’au bout du compte mon inconscient n’attendais qu’un moment propice pour se déclencher. Parce que au fond la job et l’appart c’est encore passable. Mais la nouvelle relation c’est énorme. Je sais comment m’aimer, je sais comment être une super amie, mais je ne sais pas comment être ni une amie ni une petite copine. Cela me rends mal à l’aise et je ne sais trop si je peux dire ceci ou cela si je le dis à mes amis je peux surement lui dire non? Et dès que cette question est posée l’anxietée ce déclenche.

Mais une fois la cause réelle identifier il devient plus facile de bien gérer l’anxiété aussi! Alors au bout du compte ce qui est le plus important est de toujours mettre un nom sur ce que l’on ressent simplement ! Car une fois isolé on peut alors ce concentrer dessus et travailler simplement sur elle. Il ne sert à rien d’essayer de calmer 5 chevaux à la fois vaut mieux y aller 1 à 1.

My twelve tricks against anxiety!

First and for all Anxiety is NOT the same as stress! It is more like doubting of everything everytime everywhere! Even if you are confident about yourself you will still doubt the love of other people around you. Making you feel confident in a reliationship is quite difficult and you are constantly worried your friends will think you are a wright to them.

So here is some of my own trick to go trough everyday life with anxiety problems

1. Never let yourself down! Say at least once a day I love you to yourself and particularly when you are doubting someone of thinking you are a weight in there life. Or when fear takes over! In any moment of worry, or in any moment you are not feeling so great.

2. Never keep someone who thinks it’s stupid to worry about what your friends thinks of you in your life. In fact, just don’t keep in your life any person who don’t understand, after you explained it, what anxiety really is about.

3. Smile, easy, you think but it’s not always that simple. We all know it.

4. Be confident, believe you really are wonderful, cause anyway, you truly are. Why? Because you are most sensitive and more open than most people! Anxiety helps you understand how fear, worry, anger and sadness work in yourself so you understand it better when it’s come from someone. It also makes you a lot more compassionate!

5. Be true to yourself! You got anxiety? Fine, accept it! It’s probably not gonna get away but the less time you pass getting angry about it, the more happy you’ll be.

6. Be comfortable with yourself cause anyway I guess you are not such a party lover right? Need more time alone than most people? That’s fine, don’t make a big deal out of it, it’s what makes you a lot more connected to yourself than those party people around you! Which is good in fact cause it’s helps making the right choice about the most important think!

7. Breath! Breath while putting a word on what you are feeling and smile to it! That is what mindfullness is all about! Recognizing your emotions and feelings to just let them be. Don’t fight them you’ll make them bigger!

8. Move! Do yoga, swimming, running or jogging, trekking, kayaking, dance anything that makes you move is good. At least it gets rid of stress which is one less thing to deal whith it right?

9. Meditate! Take a minute whith just yourself and stay still, observing what is happening inside. Do you have tension somewhere? Then stretch! Observe again, but now breath were the tensions are.

10. Don’t think your happiness is somewhere else than inside of you! In fact don’t put your happiness in the hand of someone else which is why you need to love yourself and be confident. Learn how to calm your fear the most sweet way possible and don’t be mad at yourself for eating your emotions. It’s happens and as long as you take good care of yourself everything will be fine.

11. Stay close to your friends, I know interacting with people is really hard and full of uncertainty but that is exactly why you should stay close to them. Make a few of them one of the stable thing in your life. The one you can always count on when something happens.

12. Routine! Keep some non changing rules every morning and evening before going to bed. If taking a bath helps you sleep, take one every evening. If reading a few pages of a book relax you, do it every evening. If waking up with a particular style of music makes you smile then do it. If eating something precise makes you feel better do it. But don’t change that routine to often. Sleeping more instead of keeping your routine won’t help.

And that’s it, those are my trick! None of it is perfect but it doesn’t do bad to do a few of them. Routine can be dangerous thought so stay open to novelty sometimes. Change it every 6 months or so also helps 😉

Etre ordinaire

Une ancienne collègue de classe a dit aujourd’hui qu’elle désire être honnête, mais je ne suis pas d’accord! Pourquoi? Parce que nous sommes tous et toutes extraordinaires à notre façon, simplement!

La vie ne devient pas ordinaire parce que l’on change de lunette rose pour des violettes. Ce n’est pas non plus parce que l’on décide de lâcher prise sur un rêve qui ne nous convient plus que l’on devient ordinaire! L’on est extraordinaite parce que l’on change d’idée, l’on évolue constament  et sans arrêt. Être sois même est l’une des plus grandes réalisations qui soit à mes yeux et ce qui nous rend extraordinaire.

Alors, non, selon moi personne ne peut pas être ordinaire, car nous sommes tous et toutes des perles à notre façon! De toute façon qu’est-ce que la normalité, sinon un concept inexistant, qui au fond, ne sert qu’à rassurer les gens qui ont besoin de s’identifier à quelque chose. Mais nous sommes tous différents, personne ne vient du même moule ! Alors pourquoi chercher à être normale ou ordinaire quand nous sommes tous et toutes extraordinaires?

Je radote, je radote!

J’ai souvent l’impression de radoter sur ce blog! Mais sérieux, je me rends de plus en plus compte que tout le monde vit pas mal tous les mêmes problématique!

On nous a farci la tête depuis l’enfance avec l’idéal américain et on se laisse influencer encore. Même à 20 quelques années ont se laisse encore avoir. Il faut être mince et bien faite pour les filles, grand et bien batti pour les hommes! Quoi de plus ridicule que cela dites moi? Ne serait-ce qu’hier j’ai vu une magnifique femme que l’on pourrait facilement étiqueter comme grosse, mais elle était magnifique! Ce n’est toujours qu’une question de port de tête et de la fiertée qu’elle semblait dégager! Juste après j’ai croisé un joli jeune homme avec un sourire totalement désarmant. Lui non plus n’était pas beau selon les critères hollywoodiens mais portait bien sa personne et dégageait beaucoup de lumière! Au bout du compte cest cela qui est important, ce qui se passe à l’intérieur de nos 2 oreilles! Ce que l’on y cultive en somme. Il faut prendre le temps de trouver l’angle positif, se dire que l’on s’aime, faire preuve de tolérance et être gentil avec soi même.

Love and friendship

A lot of my friends say I am to generous and I am way to open in front of people. But as I see it, friendship is a lot like love in fact. The only way to built strong friendship for me is to be myself, open and generous like I truly am.

In love we all are generous and open toward the other person. That’s the most importants things after communication between two persons in a relationship. Aren’t those as much important in friendship? Which is why I often act out of the ordinary for a normal girl having a friendship with a guy. Sure normal girl don’t help cutting fruits, onions, wash the dishes or anything because she’s bored and don’t see why she should watch while her friend making breakfast plus wash the dishes for the same meal. I don’t see why I shouldn’t worry for a sick friend and not bring him advil or syrup because that’s the role of the girlfriend! I honestly find that categorizing everything is wasting energy on small thing when bigger problems await you. Doing that makes me pass for a generous person which I find absurd because that’s just normal for me. I can be genrous of my time or my presence but not on usual things like that. I was brougt up in an environment where you helped tondo everything you could to help friends, even wash dishes.

If a friends does something you disaprove, you will say it to your friends that he shouldn’t do that right? If not, you should consider doing that. If what he does doesn’t work out you won’t be able to say: « I said so, it wasn’t a great idea ». Isn’t it sad, if you don’t get to say it? So communicate, it’s important, as much for your ego as for your friend who will appreciate your honesty even if he don’t follow your advice. Be open, is in fact saying you disaprove but accepting your friend for doing something you disaprove. In love that is something as important, cause the person is not you, so for sure, sometimes their reaction wont’t be the one you think it should be. That’s what being in a relationship mean: composing with who the other person is and yourself. Which is true in friendship too. In both kind of relationship you will have to built a bubble called « us ». This bubble symbolize the synergie between you. Doesn’t matter if the synergie is between 3 persons or more  or just 2, in the end it’s all the same.

Wich is why for me love and friendship are pretty much the same, but no I don’t get confused cause I don’t desire to share the same thing between friends and lovers.

A great Idea

Summer is finally at our door and so someone had a wonderful Idea to cheer up people.

On the stairs that goes to the uppercity of Quebec they wrote things like those.
On the last step it is written: you are someone beautiful and what preceded was the reasons why you are beautiful.
All the sentences are similar to this one:
They all say positive things about yourself. Reading it made me smile and I thought, everyone need to see something like this once in awhile. Even if you already feel good about yourself, it’s nice seeing that.

So I’d like to say thank you to the person who wrote that yesterday, cause it is a really good Idea. People need a bit of positive thinking in their life!

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